My 100% accurate horoscope

[ProfWag]

One of the banners in this forum was for a 100% accurate horoscope reading from Jenna. I clicked on it and filled in just a tad bit of info. Suposedly, in 24-48 hours, I'll get a 100% accurate horoscope reading!
Boy am I excited and can't wait for the results!

[NinjaPuppy]

[ProfWag]

[NinjaPuppy]

[NinjaPuppy]

Oh and as for the spam, it's not me. Really!

[Nostradamus]

A test of horoscopes I saw involved getting people to fill out a sheet. This information was used to provide a horoscope to each person the test group. People were asked to read their horoscopes and rate them. The people rated the horoscopes as quite good. Then the people were asked to hand their horoscope to the person next to them and read the other persons horoscope and see if it matched them. Much to everyone's surprise they realized that everyone in the room had been given the same horoscope. Everyone had found good agreement between this generic horoscope and themselves.

Maybe you could post your personal horoscope ProfWag and we could all see if the personal ProfWag horoscope matches us as well.

[ProfWag]

[NinjaPuppy]

Sounds like you got yourself a 'Dear John' letter.

[ProfWag]

I got it back! I got it back! Here it is with my assessment at the bottom. For the record, I didn't change anything in the reading, but obvious grammatical errors are identified with (sic). I'm not an English major and often make mistakes myself, but I thought that these were important to point out in this reading. If I missed anything from the reading that's important and I didn't identify at the bottom, please point it out to me.

John, this is the Free Personal Astrological Reading
which you requested from me...
________________________________________

Hello John,

I've got all of the information which you sent through to me on the 12 December 2009 and I thank you for that, the details you gave me allowed me to finish your astrological reading and I was so excited about the extra-ordinary results that I felt I had to write to you straight away.

I have just discovered that not only are you soon going to live through an event of great astrological importance but also that you were going to blessed with a period of chance and opportunities. This is very serious John, I rarely come accross (sic) such vibrant astrological configurations and you can believe what I say because I never express myself in this way lightly.

I must tell you now that I have worked in my chosen professional field for a very long time and it is rare that I feel such a powerful jolt (as I felt for you John) when consulting an individual's details for the first time. As soon as I started looking at your details I felt a surge in my knowledge of you and I only can explain it by the creation of a strong connection between us when we first entered into contact. This bond has an enormous advantage for me as I am able to discern exactly what you are feeling at this time. Once I felt so close you to and your feelings at this time I was able to compare and contrast this very personal information to your astrological configuration.

What I am now going to tell you is very important and of course I have checked and double-checked everything before telling you John.As (sic) I told you earlier I don't advance myself and make such important statements without being first totally sur (sic) that everything is entirely accurate.

So here is what is is (sic) all about: a Transit period is on the way and you are perfectly positioned to get the very best out of the opportunities it is set to bring . This is very clear in your astrological configuration and to be honest in a very short time indeed you will find yourself in the glare of several powerful astrological influences. These influences will place you in a rare astrological Transit which will not occur again in your skies before a very long time, simply because the planets will not be aligned in this way again for a number of years and above all YOU will not be as PERFECTLY paced to make the most of it all! A great number of opportunities are going to be offered to you. These opportunities are going to have a great impact on your life and here is what comes out of my analysis of your personal configuration:

You can expect some very positive changes on a professional level and most particularly as far as your job is concerned. As a matter of fact your astral configuration shows very clearly that during this period of 29 days you will experience one of the most intense moments of your career. Let me be a little more precise, during this period you will have the possibility of making a stunning victory as far as your job is concerned and you will then be able to reach a new and important turning point in your career. Here are the factors which are most apparent:

- At this stage of the analysis is difficult to say exactly what this victory will be however I can say that it seems to be in relation to negocitations (sic) you will make abroad or with a foreign company.

- An important element from your past will participate in this victory and this element may consist of an encounter, a proposition or an affair which was made or took place several months ago and it will now represent an important opportunity for your career.

- This professional evolution will help you make lasting changes to the financial side of your life


During this period you can expect some very positive financial changes in your life. It seems that one very important opportunity will be made to you and this opportunity is linked to an unexpected sum of money. As a matter of fact your astral configuration shows me that this sum of money should allow you to finish a project which you have been thinking about for a long time. 3 main points stand out clearly:

- first of all, you must realize why this period is so important for you and this is simply because these 29 days are linked to a large sum of money
- it seems that this sum of money will help you with your projects, ambitions and investments
- at this stage of my analysis it is difficult to say exactly how you can get hold of this sum of money but it seems that it is linked to a notion of games or lottery. You will certainly gain this sum when you least expect it and this will also be a moment when your natural chance and good luck are boosted to their maximum. This does indicate a win through a game of some sort.


I must insist on the fact that this Transit is going to have an enormous influence and a great importance in your life. You need to be ready to seize all of the opportunities which are going to be open to you during this period as it represents a real chance in your life and for this is is very important that you have some complementary information about this period (where, how, what, when, with who...). This is why I have put a page online especially for you, John, where you can ask me to research this information. I know that this is important to you and I also know that this is one of the many reasons that you first contacted me, you must now be sensing that something very important lies ahead for you and you are aware, even unconsciously, that you must get solid help and guidance and skilled advice about this powerful period in your life. You can find this page here:

http://aboutastro.com/j.php?p=request...

However before you go to this page I invite you to continue reading this first reading as I have some more important information to tell you about.

Firstly you may be wondering at this point how I can be so passionate about your particular case. Well let me explain a little more about what I felt about you when we first entered into contact and how this has allowed me to know you even better, John. I also want to show you how close our bond actually is, all these details that I am about to reveal to you came to me through careful study of your current situation once I experienced this powerfully exciting flash about you. So let me go on and tell you about what I have sensed:

You are aware that you are entering into a different and interesting period in your life, in which certain values will affirm themselves,notably (sic) a notion of revitialisation (sic) which appears strongly around you even if you often think about the past, as you have done recently. I can also see that you feel more confortable (sic)associating with people your own age or younger. I can also see that you seem to appreciate and be happiest when you are near the water and you have a deep affinity for nature and the outdoors. To get back to this notion of revitilisation (sic)I can see a connection coming through with Europe or something European and this is most likely concerning a voyage which you must do. I can see a great deal of things in your life which are set to change and a lot of very positive events are going to occur for you.

I know that you have a great deal of qualities and you now have the power now to acccomplish (sic) whatever you want to in life. You need only set your goals and aim for what you want. Your unique perspective in life, has been forged from the school of hard knocks and you know deep down inside that you are better for having gone through what you have endured. There is a very strong aura around you and an energy that is truly powerful. I am sensing vibrations from you much more intense than those I experience with most clients. I am even getting a powerful impression now.... you have what might be described almost as a sixth sense, the ability to sense things are about to happen. At times, you have wondered if you might be extremely intuitive.

As far as other aspects of your life are concerned, I am getting the distinct sense that you are street smart and you value this ability much more than the classroom smarts that others have. You are a person with fresh and innovative ideas and are not willing to settle for what others tell you. you have to see things for yourself and if you don't like what you see then you will change it. In your relationships with others, you need those around you to be happy and even if these people don't always say it out loud, they see you as something of a wise man, someone who has all the answers. This suits you as although you don't always consciously admit this, deep down inside you need the respect and admiration of others.

We now need to get back to the importance of this Transit period in your life John and straight away I should warn you about one particular point. If you do not act in a very decisive manner concerning this period then it is extremely likely that all of these important opportunities will simply pass you by. This sounds simple, and it is. I can help and guide you (in fact I am 100% willing to help you because I feel so strongly that you can benefit greatly from the opportunities of this valuable period) however I need you to be active and open to change during this period. It is YOU who will sense the moments once they arrive, even though I can help you detect and identify them, and it is YOU who will seize them and turn your life around to take in the direction you want to see yourself going.

You now know that this Transit is a very rare event which will not come around again for a very long time to come, the configuration is only perfect for you during a relatively short timespan (sic) and it will allow you to reach a decisive turning point in your career and earn an unexpected sum of money. To achieve this it is important that you find yourself in the right place and at the right time to take the right decisions and this is what I want to help you to do with this full, detailed Reading which I tell you about on the link:

http://aboutastro.com/j.php?p=request...

I also need to warn you about something which I have already seen with certain other people who simply wait for events to occur. I must take a note of seriousness here because it is very important what I am going to tell you.

I know through my extensive professional experience that people who are aware that such a Transit will soon occur yet who sit by and do nothing about it (because they consider that they can guess which actions are needed and when), inevitably miss out on the full impact of the period. Waiting for events to happen is NOT the way to go, you must see why this is so true. You need a professional astrologer can read your Skies correctly to bring you the information you truly need concerning your Transit of 29 days because once you are armed with this kind of information you will be ready to act and change your life for the better. To sum up, John you need precise and deep knowledge of all of the implications of this Transit in order to get the very best out of it's (sic) chances and opportunities.This (sic)Transit is too significant and too important not to try and get all chances over on your side.

I must mention that I am not the only professional who could help you. You may of course consult with someone a little closer to your home or with an astrologer you are already familiar with. This person should be able to help you in exactly the same manner as I would be able to. The most important thing is that you have the information you need and that you get this information very soon because the Transit will come along much sooner than you think.

However I want you to know that as far as I am concerned I am also 100% ready to help you John. I have told you about the details I can offer you; I have a wealth of important and exciting information to share with you and I can give you full details on the following points:

More precisely, As far as your professional career is concerned. I will tell you:

- why this period will be one of the most favorable moments of your career
- what this victory is and how you can acheive (sic) it in your job
- when and how this victory will take place and what it will change for you
- what these 'foreign affairs' are and how they will surface during your Transit period
- how these affairs will affect your work
- what this important element from your past is and why it will be such an important opportunity
- what changes you can expect financially
- How the situation will change your work situation in the average to long term
- what you can generally expect to happen in your job
- what pit-falls you must avoid in the Future
- how your finances will evolve


I will determine for you all of the information which you will need concerning the financial developments which you can expect during this Transit and how this sum of money will change your life. I will tell you:

- why this period is more important than any other period
- what financial changes you can really expect
- how this sum of money will come to you
- how you can grab hold and keep it
- and I will also give you a lot of other information which will help you to get all the chance over on your side so that you can make the most of this valuable opportunity


Here is again the web page where you can request my help, John. As soon as I receive your confirmation that you want me to work on your reading I can get straight to work on your complete analysis. On this same page I have also given you a link to some testimonials from other customers that I have also helped through my clairvoyance and astrology.

Here is the link: http://aboutastro.com/j.php?p=request....

Have a good day and speak to you soon,

Your friend and astrologer,

Jenna


And here is what I deciphered as my summation:
1. This covers the next 29 days (and boy did I give her a jolt!)
2. Expect positive changes at the professional level, specifically my job. (Hmmm, I'll follow up in 30 days)
3. An important element of my past will be involved. (Scary)
4. Next 29 days is linked to an unexpected large sum of money that will help me finish a project. (Woo hoo!)
5. Appears this large sum of money will be gained through a game or the lottery. (Exciting as I do play the lottery and will follow up in 30 days if I win!)
6. I can follow a link to her for more specific information. (by paying only $60.)
7. She sees I’m more comfortable with people my own age or younger (For the record, I’m 45 and I chose to live in a retirement community where the average age is 62.)
8. I have a deep affinity when I’m near the water (I chose to live in Arkansas, but you can see a lake from my backyard if that counts) and enjoy nature and the outdoors (I’ve gone camping. Once. Though I do enjoy playing golf and hiking from time to time if those are acceptable nature and outdoor events.)
9. I must go to Europe! (Again.)
10. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the past. (Yes, both my parents passed away this year.)
11. My unique perspective has been forged through the “school of hard knocks.” (I will be absolutely honest here when I say this couldn’t be further from the truth. I consider myself very fortunate. Grew up in the cornfields of Indiana, loving parents, never did drugs nor commit crimes, always had a decent roof over my head and always knew where my next meal was coming from.)
12. I had to copy this one word for word. “At times, you have wondered if you might be extremely intuitive.” Those of you who know a little about me, do you think this is true?
13. “I am getting the distinct sense that you are street smart and you value this ability much more than the classroom smarts that others have.” (Again, I grew up in the cornfields of Indiana. My wife grew up on the streets of Philadelphia. She’s street smart and reminds me of that often, especially when I used to walk down the streets of DC with my wallet hanging out my back pocket. I’m a small town type of guy.)
14. People see me as a wise man and others see me as having all the answers. (Ask Don about this.)
15. She’s 100% willing to help and guide me through the transit (for a mere $60.)
16. “To sum up, John you need precise and deep knowledge of all of the implications of this Transit in order to get the very best out of it's (sic) chances and opportunities.” (For $60.)

[NinjaPuppy]

For a freebie, I think it's pretty darned cool.

My mind went with what little I know about you from what you've posted here. You had originally been asking about career if I recall correctly so the fact that this deal solely with career is either one great coincidence or there was some box to check off on the request.

As far as that money, I didn't see anything about a lottery but then again I read it quickly since I was all excited about what a great freebie this was, and my take on it was about switching careers as you had previously mentioned.

The term 'school of hard knocks' or whatever it was is open to interpretation by the reader. We can argue this point for at least 7 pages if you ask me

Yes, for ONLY $60 Jenna can help you blah, blah, blah. Of course that is always in the eye of the beholder to pay money for this sort of thing. My cleaning lady charges me more than that and her specific cleaning talents are also questionable.

[ProfWag]

[NinjaPuppy]

[ProfWag]

[NinjaPuppy]

[ProfWag]