SCEPCOP Forum

I have been hearing an angry voice since I was very young, probably around six years old. I was lying on my parents living room floor when I heard it and I only know I was that young because I pretended to be asleep so that my dad would carry me to bed. I've always thought maybe I am psychic and I don't know how to use it, but I feel like it is always the same voice talking to me. I don't remember it happening many places but it has happened at school.

It always happens when there is a repeating noise around me, such as typing on the computer, loose change in the dryer, an air conditioner popping, or water dripping in the shower. It always sounds like the same girl, with a very sweet voice at first. I cannot understand her at all and I try as hard as I can to, but I still can't understand what she's saying. I don't know if she is speaking a different language or not. Then she sounds really angry, and I am really angry, and everyone around me sounds really angry too, even though I know they're not. Everything they say will sound tuned out like she does and they will sound angry. I feel like I am very spaced out or not in control of myself when it happens, and it scares me, almost as if I'm going crazy or being possessed by someone really angry.

This will happen for about five minutes or so, and then it goes away. It'll happen for a week and then it won't happen for a long time, sometimes up to a year. I am 23 now and I know it's been happening for over 15 years. It is possible that the same spirit would be trying to talk to me for this long and would she follow me out of my home?

If anyone has any knowledge of this kind of thing or has had this experience. It is really scaring me now that I am older.

Kathryn, your experience is so different from mine that you might, in my skeptic's view, be dealing with something that is genuinely external to you. But here are my stories, and some advise.

Twain is off his meds these days, but we (all the various incarnations I've had this life) have always heard voices that my Left brain Twain "ghost in the machine" did not consider himself. What did and do I consider my “voices” to be.

Part one: My Freudian Youth
I distinctly remember that the first voice I ever heard in my head was my mother's, sounding as real as life, saying “Don't leave the yard”
Since my mother wasn't there, I asked out loud, “Who said that?”
She repeated herself, but much weaker, no longer a virtual audio experience, but a memory, and definitely in my head.
In response, I phrased what may have been my first conscious and grammatically complete sentence in my own head, repeating “Who said that?”
The voice repeated itself, like a whisper on the radio, coming distinctly from the right side of my head.
The little lawyer replied, hearing it enunciated clearly from about where the pituitary gland sits, “If you won't ell me who you are, my Mother says I don't have to listen to you,” and I left the yard .

My father was a Freudian while I was imprintable, and I quickly learned the voices were my new born super-ego circuit, and my new born “ego”. I also quickly learned to distinguish a lot of the input was from my ratbrain. I was helped by the fact that, in my mental universe, the voices were directional, and carried imagery. In my head, I sat just to the right of my left eye, while an image of myself, slightly older, would sometimes sit at my side telling me what I should do, and behind me, usually at the base of my brain, but sometimes frighteningly closer, was the bogeyman, and his later incarnations

And I think now, I have lied to myself, or misremembered from horror. The first voice I heard in my head was a hideous whisper at the base of my skull saying some day it would have me, as I tried to sleep with my hands above the covers. For what seemed to me to be a year, it got louder and crawled closer for a year, and as CS Lewis said, every child knows there is a face one never recovers from seeing.

But it got me. My libido gave birth to ego, before super-ego came on line.

Part 2 My Believing my Voices

CS Lewis, in what may be his greatest error, said, "When you are seeing ghosts, it is better to believe in them"

When young Cat'smeat heard that, and tried it, (as a Jungian exercise in mythopoetic consciousness) he?/I? first assumed he was hearing "God," which was his right according to his families gnostic traditions. When God told him/me to join the army, marry a third worlder, and kill gooks, he/I decided that voice was just the rat brain wanting to fight and fornicate.
Within a few more years, I developed full blown anorexia down to the text book demonic voices telling me I didn't deserve to eat, and had to finally take the leap of faith that GI Jebus had died for MY sins in order to banish the demons. (My mother considered the idea that Jesus died for anyone's sins a heresy, by the way.)
Those are three bad things that came from believing the voices.

On the god side (lovely Freudian typo Shakespeare leaves as stands) Shakespeare was total faith in the Muse and the gods, and Twain trusts S to write his poetry and act on stage.

The gripping hand is, when I first took the meds, the voices went away (But they were going anyway as sustaining illusions shattered. YHWH had already told me I had done what he wanted and could do as I pleased. Say what you like about the SOB. I've been less pleasantly fired, (unless he was sending me to Hell, and I don't believe I'll be stuck in any hell forever. The roads there are broad and paved with good intentions, so its easy to leave.)
When I went off the meds, the anorexia and voices came back, but after intermittent use of meds until I muffed my benefits and considered myself adjusted enough, I got much better at handling my bicameral mind, but after a year or so off, I maybe could use another dose.

III My Ill-informed advise.
Some questions first. That was almost two years ago. I am sorry no one got back to you.
Anything happen since?
If you are still concerned, I refer you to Craig Browning and Mystery at this site.
My advice as a skeptic, be very careful dealing with this.
If there is "nothing there" you can screw your head thinking there is, and if there is something there, bets are off.
Shakespeare, on the other hand, suggests offering milk and cookies, making friends with it, you know.

Twain! A lot of effort for a two-year old post!

As a child I used to hear these deep whispers all the time but I also used to get raging ear infections. Now that I am older I have noticed that I will hear faint whispering when there is electronic humming near me. Fan motors do it all the time as do certain car engines. The Dyson vacuum cleaner commercials call it buffering, I think. I can also hear dog whistles and those ringtones that youngins can only hear but I can't hear a normal voice if there is any background noise at all. I'm weird.