My best friend died yet is visiting me

[FrancoisDuboisSJ]

In my introduction I laid out all of the particulars of my lifestyle. I am a 61-year-old, retired naval officer not given to flights of fancy.

My best friend, Bert, died April 10, 2011. His was a long, painful, lingering death. At the time, I was also thought to be dying from recurring pulmonary embolisms. I was a patient in the Hospice house of Hintington WV. From the time Bert died, I felt his presence; there were many times I thought I saw him out of the corner of my eye. He never spoke or appeared to me as an apparition--except in my dreams, and I tended to discount that as active phenomena. Eight months after Bert died, on December 8, 2011, Bert came into my room and told me to get up and pack for home. It was not, he told me, my time to die. December 8 was Bert's birthday.

Since then I have noted some 15-16 "visits." Bert's visits are enveloped in the color blue. He is a boy at times, a man at other times. He answers questions that are in my mind but not asked. Are these visits due to the fact that I so want to see him again. Is there unfinished business (although, for the life of me, I cannot think of anything we left unsaid or undone)?

If these are truly survuval phenomenon, should I tell his widow and children?

[NinjaPuppy]

[ProfWag]

Just to be clear, Bert is no longer appearing in your dreams but is appearing while you're awake whereas before he was in your dreams or is he still appearing in your dreams?

[NinjaPuppy]

[FrancoisDuboisSJ]

"Physical" Bert does not appear to me in any way during the day when I am awake. There are times when I catch glimpses of him as tho out of the corners of my eyes. Those occasions are very rare and always, always accompanied by the sensation of "blue" for lack of a better description.

In my dreams, Bert appears in many forms, as a small boy as he appeared when we met; as a teenager, when he and I were inseperable; as an adult, before he became ill. Each time I dream about Bert there is no sense of disconnect, the events are time/space/content oriented.

This is very difficult to talk about and here is why. Ten days ago I met a woman on line who told me she was a powerful leader of a Wicca coven. I told her about Bert and what was going on. She asked me many of the same questions you all have asked. I gave her precise answers and she said she would gaze on it. A couple of days later, she told me "there was no Bert, that I was making him up to impress her &c &c." She also said there was no color blue, and she knew this because she had tapped into "forces." Frankly, I think she tapped into ergot laced Irish beer!

I don't know how many more times I can tell this story.

But please, tell me what is significant is how and when he appears (other than a psychotic break)?

[NinjaPuppy]

[ProfWag]

[FrancoisDuboisSJ]

Sorry, it's been a long day. No, I'm fairly certain I am not a psychotic, but then, you know what they say about people who believe they're sane.

And yes, I'm, here for answers. But I am not at all certain wha tis going on; I'm certain that I am not visiting Bert. But I do know that Janine, Jannie and Sam would want to know. Janine knows how close Bert and I were throughout our lives. I was on the phoone with her when he passed. But I have not spoken to her for months now (I'm a jerk).

Please, by all means. You could not possibly shake me up more than the Wicca lady.

[ProfWag]

Let's just say that the mind is an amazing thing and can do all sorts of things and often times, it's without realizing it.

Unfortunately, I don't believe in spirits so from my perspective, I doubt that he's actually visiting, however, if it makes you feel comfortable and he's not harming you in any way, by all means enjoy the experience. My guess is, however, that you are feeling guilty about not contacting his family for quite some time and it's invoking a memory and perhaps it's your subconscious mind telling you that you really do need to check in with them to see how they're doing. My thoughts only.

[NinjaPuppy]

ProfWag - Excellent post.

[FrancoisDuboisSJ]

That is extremely insightful and I am feeling guilty about not contacting them. I will do it today, without fail.

Nonetheless, I grew up in the Appalachian Mountains. My father was a great believer in spirits; as were many of my family members. Me, I was so agnostic I chose not to consider spirit survival. Now I am not so certain; I've seen too much to rule out whatever it might "be." From my experience I can tell you what I do not believe. What I am having difficulty with is what I cannot explain.

You know the drill: Eliminate the impossible and whatever is left, however improbable, is true.

[ProfWag]

[SydneyPSIder]